Monday, 17 May 2010
4 Days in One English Pound
Jonny, are the directions by your feet? No. Then they are definitely still at my flat. It's this left. No, wait, the next one. Must be the next one. It's probably right. Will you get me a deep fried Mars bar. I like this deep fried Mars bar. I probably shouldn't have eaten that deep fried mars bar. What can we get with the drinks vouchers? Pint of Becks or soft drinks. What about Whisky? Pint of Becks or soft drinks. Pint of Becks please. Does anybody have a guitar I can borrow? Dan does. Does anybody have a tuner I can borrow? Dan does. Man, this guitar sucks! Boo. Sorry. 'Scuse me can i get passed to go to the toilet. 'Scuse me can i get passed to go to the toilet. 'Scuse me can i get passed to go to the toilet. 'Scuse me can i get passed to go to the toilet. We're normally a bit more raucous than this. Erm, Andy, I can't find my car. Where's Jonny? He won't be coming home with us tonight.
Where's Jonny? Where's Jonny? Has anybody seen or heard from Jonny since we left him in Leeds? We have a gig in a few hours, can anybody get in touch with Jonny? He's in the Bell, and he's got a story to tell. SAVE THE DI BOXES! How many drinks tokens is that each? Well there's more if we only give Jonny one. One of these days, I'm gonna feel so much better! Everyone step forward. Shit, that's never worked before. Do it again. Three times? My word. Can I have some of your pint. That's disgusting. Can I have some more? Where are Dan & Jonny? You locked us out. I had a burger. Adelphi! Taxi for Russell? No. Taxi for Russell? No. Taxi for Russell? No. Taxi for Evans? Adelphi! Old Dog! If I get hit by one more beer mat, you're getting a pint on your head.
Then Jonny got wet.
Are you aware it's only 10.20am? Do you know how to set a drum kit up? Are these all snare stands? Is the bass drum usually that way round? Hog Roast! Beer. Beer. Fosters. Jagerbombs. Wallace and Grommit. Jonny, play the riff slowly? The what? The verse bit... but slowly. I know what will make you pay attention. Here's a joke! The ultra-sound man. The ship! The Ferret! The Adelphi! Tequila! Tequila! Tequila!
Then Jonny was sick.
I LOVE YOU BABY!!!
Wake Jonny up, he has practice.